if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
