Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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