Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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