Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
