Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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