We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
