i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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