Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
