Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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