Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
