Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
