Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i now understand why vodka
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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