Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
