If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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