He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize