Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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