Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
