Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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