ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
