i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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