I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
