found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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