me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
