I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we're so committed to being not committed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
