Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
