you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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