I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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