When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
