we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
