He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
