I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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