I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
