My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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