he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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