Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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