We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
