Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i have two assholes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
