next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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