We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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