I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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