Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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