I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize