Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize