She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
