You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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