mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
