you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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