he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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