Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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