I seem to have left my pride at pride
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
