Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
