Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize