Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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