I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We left an ass print on the piano.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
