I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
