wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!