We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown