The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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