man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
