Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
