break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
