there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The uberlube is also flammable
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
