she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
